


So That's My Refrain

by Moretta



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Vessels, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Gen, Lucifer's Cage, POV Adam Milligan, Vessel Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moretta/pseuds/Moretta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam can’t help but flinch once Michael takes over.<br/>He flinches, but his body doesn't move. Oh. So that’s what he meant when he said it’d be like being in the back seat.</p>
<p>Set after Adam said yes, right up until the cage.<br/>You can't trust angels, dear, you'd do best to remember that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So That's My Refrain

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title is from the Buffy episode Once More With Feeling. Just go with it.
> 
> For Hope.

Adam can’t help but flinch once Michael takes over.

He flinches, but his body doesn't move. Oh. So that’s what he meant when he said it’d be like being in the back seat.

There’s a lot of fast moving, stomach-churning speed and flashes of light and he sort of tunes in and out, like early morning dozing after a killer night out, when you’re still too drunk and exhausted to be awake but your body refuses to actually take the step into REM.

He sees oceans, or sky, or eyes, or something, but none of it stays long enough for him to actually see, so he lets it pass on by, the bright light and the incomprehensible whispers and nothing humans were ever made to understand.

And then he’s in a field, facing Sam.

Michael tells him no, somehow conveys a pat on the head that feels patronising and condescending despite the fact that there is no head for him to pat, reminds him of his mission, _their mission_. 

It’s stressed like Adam is actually doing anything.

He knows better.

He was fine being dead, being in heaven with his mum and his memories and everything good.

But no, here he is, pulled out by angels who are actually turning out to be nothing but dicks in suits and Sam, who is apparently his brother, is Lucifer, Michael’s brother.

All Adam really has to do is wait for this to be over so he can go back to being dead.

“It’s good to see you, Michael.”

Adam is idly curious; do Lucifer and Michael see something different to him?

He sees Sam’s physical body. But he’s glimpsed thoughts of angels, snippets of light and sound and energy, and he wonders if maybe they see themselves as something completely different from the human body.

Or maybe they can see both the angel and the human soul.

“You too,” comes out of his mouth, but it hasn't really been his mouth for a while, “It’s been too long.”

_Millennia._

“Can you believe it’s finally here?”

Adam takes a metaphorical step back and catalogues the view whilst Michael steps forward, swaggering more than Adam ever had the confidence to.

“No, not really.”

Keeping track of what’s going on while an angel is in your body is a ridiculously hard thing to do. He lets it go, drifts, more tired than he’s ever been.

“You’re a monster, Lucifer,” floats past, which even Adam thinks is harsh thing for a brother to say, but then again this is Satan, and can they please just get on with it so he can go back, and he knows, can feel the regret in Michael, “I have to kill you.”

“If that’s the way it’s got to be,” Lucifer casts his eyes down, and brings them back up full of defiance, jaw squared, “then I’d like to see you try.”

Michael pushes him away. _You don’t need to see this._

But the sudden loud rumble of music that he almost recognises stops all of them in their tracks.

Dean.

If he cursed, Michael would be spewing profanities, but as it is, it’s up to Adam to verbalise all of Michael’s inner rage and displeasure.

“Hey, boys.”

_Winchesters._

The amount of rage in that one word is something that Adam would never be able to replicate.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Adam more or less blanks again at this point, whether it’s Michael or exhaustion is a moot point.

He doesn't know what’s going on.

He does feel it when his entire fucking being lights up with holy fire.

It’s pain and burning and he was promised heaven again, Michael, not this!

Suddenly, like lightning bolt, he’s back in the field, can sort of see Sam through the haze of pain as Michael talks about destiny and Sam is falling – it’s Sam now? – and Michael is hurtling forward and Adam falling with them into Lucifer’s cage.

There’s pain again, along with that lightning bolt sensation.

_Go._

Pain, and darkness, and it hurts, flashing light, then back to darkness.

It feels sort of like sleep, in the end.

Adam hopes he doesn't wake up this time. 

Inevitably, he does.

It’s a forest, and he’s obviously faceplanted right into the damp, musty leaves littering the ground.

He stands up slowly, stretching into the knowledge that his limbs are his own again and he can’t hear Michael in his head.

It’s grey, unwelcoming, and he can’t tell what time of day it is. This certainly isn't his heaven, at any rate.

Leaves rustle to his right and try as he might, he can’t see a path. So he picks a direction and starts walking. He’ll get somewhere eventually, and he’s too tired to do anything else.

After all he’s seen already, this doesn't even make the fucking list.

He just wants to get back to his mother.

He walks and walks, but the forest stays thick and the light stays grey.

He can feel eyes on the back of his neck, greedy and hungry.

He pulls up his collar, zips up his jacket and finally surrenders to the thought that’s been rattling around his head since he’d woken up to dirt all around him instead of his Mom’s pancakes and Jade from his sophomore year.

He’s been pulled out of heaven.

There’s no way of going back.

A man steps out from behind a tree and leers at him.

His teeth are much too sharp.


End file.
